pizza and cream

i went out on a date last night.

pretty simple, really. met a new person, got some food, enjoyed ourselves. pretty textbook activity for a first date. i was humored by my company, and by my own behavior: slightly nervous, self-concious. how cute! everybody say "aww...!"

i guess for me it was a little bit more than that. you see, 1.5 years ago my wife left me, and left me in pieces. i've spent the past 1.5 years rebuilding, restrenghtening. and i have to say that i've been successful. i saved my dog's life, went on vacation with my sister, saw my sox win the world series, broke a 6-year marathon personal record. i've taken up dancing again, and have become close to many friends. i very much enjoy what i do at work; one could almost say "love."

but dating? jeez. that day i all but gave up on. which is usually the time that it finds you.

she and i have talked for a total of 3 hours and 15 minutes in total. ever. we've had two email conversations and that's it. i tell you, all of this is pretty fresh-off-the-press news. i do find it frustrating that, as i sit here, i can only kinda picture her face: i can pick her out of a crowd, for sure, but we simply haven't seen each other enough for me to inductively recreate a picture in my memory with 100% accuracy and detail. this gives her an engimatic feel, which is fun, but i would like my memories to be a little more grounded. all with time.

she's pretty, this i know.

yes, the mind races. it fast-forwards through unwritten history based upon previous experiences: one-third entertaining, two-thirds foolhearted. i promise myself the following:
- no expectations
- no apologies
- no promises
- no fronts
- enjoy only the day